Think you’ve found your twin flame

When you meet your twin flame, the connection is immediate and intense, with familiar, electrifying chemistry. However, be wary of mistaking trauma bonding for true connection. Recognizing the signs can help you navigate the highs and lows of this unique relationship, ensuring growth and genuine connection without falling into unhealthy patterns

Introduction 

If you’re convinced you’ve met your twin flame, you’ll feel a hypnotic draw to them. They may feel so familiar you wonder if you’ve met them before. In no time, your passion sparks like wildfire. Their very touch is electrifying. When you talk about the future, you’re both excited, and are 100% all-in. No matter what. For always and forever.

However, this may be trauma bonding in disguise. Any sign of manipulation, gaslighting, or a desire to keep you “to themselves” should not be ignored. These can be signs of codependency. Often this is so easily confused with twin flame dynamics. However, a codependent relationship can turn toxic and be easily confused with “the real thing”. So, as always, trust your gut and run for the hills if anything at all makes you feel uneasy.

1. When you met, there was instant recognition.

When you first meet your twin flame, it’s wild but easy at the same time. You feel relaxed and conversation flows. There’s a magnetic draw and sense of coming home that has you wondering, “where have you been all my life?” It's as if they’re always with you energetically, even when you’re apart. 

2. You complement each other because you’re that similar.  

As you roll into another hour of conversation with your twin flame, your eyes will open and jaw drop as you realize just how much you have in common. Your values are in sync. Your paths feel like they crossed in another world. Your story is their story, and with each layer you unravel, so your interests, perspectives, and dreams mesh into one. 

Even where you differ, your differences complement each other. Their weaknesses will be complemented by your strength. Like a see-saw, you have ups and downs, but balance each other beautifully. 

3. Your pain points and anxieties are mirrored.

As we found out here, twin flames mirror each other. This is why it’s natural that you see each other, in each other. 

Twin flames have each other’s backs like few other relationships. You champion your twin flame’s purpose and cheer them on as they align with their spiritual growth. 

The mirroring you manifest means your own frustrations and self doubt will literally stare back at you, but you work through them together and as individuals with patience and kindness. Growth happens in spite of your challenges. This is in contrast to codependency, where codependents either “overreact or under-react. But rarely do they act”, according to best-selling author, Melody Beattie in Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. 

4. It’s a rollercoaster of a relationship.

Being in a relationship with your twin flame is bumpy. You can’t fly high on passion and float in flow 24/7. No one can. As you confront each other’s destructive patterns, prepare to be challenged. Transformational growth comes with growing pains. So remember, “no rain, no rainbow”, as they say. 

However, watch out for anything that points to a codependent relationship. These are where one person tries to “control another person’s emotions and behaviors” to avoid their own painful feelings,”according to psychotherapist and relationship expert, Jessica Baum in, Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love.

Don’t run away from the growth twin flame connections offer. It could be the ride of your life. 

5. Your relational style is deep and intense. 

Your connection is magnetic because it’s loaded with energy from the go. This spiritual alignment accelerates how quickly your relationship develops. As Baum writes, truly intimate relationships are “where we feel truly safe and relaxed enough to be our “real” selves, we are able to access even deeper states of being and discover the joy of being accepted for who we truly are.”

This is why if you have a shared spiritual practice, then your bond will run really deep. You may even feel an almost eerie sense the universe has brought you together.

6. Annoyingly, you can just about read others’ minds. 

Annoying? “No way!” you might say, but hear us out. For every glance you exchange over dinner with friends that signals “yeah, I saw that too”, there will be times where you read each other all wrong. 

It’s easy to think that similar equals the same, but our unique life experiences means there’s only ever one of us. And we deserve our uniqueness to be seen. Clinical psychologist and globally acclaimed therapist John M. Gottman encourages us to “ask the right kind of questions”. In his book, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love Gottman reminds us to keep being curious about our partners. “Don’t assume you know who they are today, just because you went to bed with them the night before.” Wise words from a wise man. 

Empowering each other to have independent perspectives is healthy. Allowing your partner to share how they feel before jumping to conclusions is respectful. That’s real love. So you do you, and let your flame do the same. 

7. You bring a spirit of growth to your relationship. 

Twin flames’ capacity to mirror each other gives them the opportunity to see things that could change and actively encourage those changes to happen. As Jessica Baum continues, there is nothing more liberating than being given “permission to simply be us—and in a healthy relationship, this permission is granted on both sides in an ongoing, unconditional mutual exchange of acceptance and appreciation.”

Your energy and shared purpose is extraordinary and when that growth heartspace is fused with compassion, acceptance, and genuine belief, you will experience growth that feels in flow with your potential. So fly high and if you feel yourself falling, trust your twin flame will catch you.

8. You break up and get back together (a lot). 

With a fast bond and intense connection, it’s inevitable that you and your twin flame find yourself carried away. Idealizing each other and trying to build the perfect future will inevitably result in disappointment and disconnection. 

That said, you won’t stay apart long. You’ll reconnect somehow. It’s like the universe wants you together. Even if your reunion is unintentional and unplanned, the embers of a twin flame never goes out. 

So, have I met my twin flame or not!

We don’t know, only you will. These guides are yours to use as you navigate your relationship. Each and every one of us quietly believes our person is out there. When love is so intense and our connection so  immense, it’s only human to pile all our energy into it. Just don’t lose yourself in the process. 

Just because you have intensity and depth, if you start to feel uneasy or suffocated, take a beat and check in with your intuition. 

Final note 

There are simple questions to help unpack how you’re feeling and why .So ask yourself these if you’re feeling confused: 

1. Does my person have my back and genuinely want me to grow? 
2. Do they give me space, respect my boundaries, and accept me as I am, right now? 
3. What is it that feels familiar in how I’m feeling now? 

The chances are that how your partner makes you feel now, will be tapping back into an older relational wound. So take care of your heart but don’t run away from the growth twin flame connections offer. It could be the ride of your life. 

—------------------

If you Google Twin Flame, please be very cautious of the organization, Twin Flame Universe. They are a cult who promise they will help you search for your twin flame - if you pay them. Unless matchmaking is part of your culture, we do not endorse anyone offering matching services in return for a fee. 

Disclaimer

The contents of this article are provided for informational purposes only. Anahana does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should not be used as a substitute for medical advice from a healthcare professional. Anahana encourages to consult a qualified healthcare professional for medical guidance. Anahana is not liable for any errors, omissions, or consequences that may occur from using the information provided.