Why purpose is tied to a happy life

Understanding your values is the foundation for living a purposeful life. Values guide your behavior, while goals help you achieve specific outcomes. This article will help you align your actions with your core values and build a life filled with meaning and purpose

Introduction

A core human need is to feel like our lives matter. Like we matter. Setting goals is how we’re told to build a happy and successful life. But goals are a part of that. What comes first, and what most of us don’t know how to find is our sense of purpose. Values, goals, and meaning are all part of living a purpose-rich life. Knowing where to begin and building the right foundation is essential and starts with our values. Not sure where those are either? Read on friend, we’ve got you covered.  

First things first, let’s define what we mean by “purpose” 

One of the leading experts in purpose-led research is Professor Anthony Burrow, of Cornell University. His definition of purpose is “something you’re looking forward to and working toward” to help us organize our goals and know what to focus on next. 

When we lead a purpose-led life, everyday experiences big and small carry meaning. As most of us are not taught this growing up, it can be hard to know what to prioritize. This leads to a life where we’re busy going round in circles. We get caught up doing lots of things, but not feeling satisfied in the end. We feel ‘meh’ and wonder, “what was the point of that!” 

The leading expert on positive habits that lead to meaning is James Clear - one of our favorite experts at Nema. Clear believes that "the secret is not to find the meaning of life, but to use your life to make things that are meaningful."

Why humans long for purpose

A famous psychologist called Abraham Maslow compiled what he termed our human “hierarchy of needs”. At the bottom of his pyramid are physical needs like eating and sleeping. Next comes  our need for safety, in the form of feeling safe and having somewhere to call home. These are everyday needs most of us are fortunate enough to take for granted. 

The next levels form our psychological needs: they include love, a sense of belonging and our need for self-esteem. At the top is what he calls “self-actualization”. This is where we focus on finding meaning, purpose, and personal growth.

Can my purpose be something simple? 

Yes, 100%! We can’t all be entrepreneurs or spiritual teachers focused on saving the world. The beautiful thing about purpose is that we create it from things that carry meaning to us. Your purpose is not laid out in some mysterious plan. You make it, your way. Exciting, right? 

What’s the difference between purpose and goals?

Goals are what we’re taught are the most important way to find a happy, healthy, and successful life. Whilst they are important, purpose comes before them. 

Goals center on specific outcomes - to get a degree, to learn how to dance salsa, eat healthily by cooking home-made food. Goals are things we do. Purpose is our way of being. 

Purpose looks like “I want to be an awesome big sister,” or “I want to support my local community.” Purpose-led actions are things we work at consistently. They evolve and grow and don’t have a defined ending.  

Values begin with what we stand for in life and how we want to be. They are our inner guide. Whereas goals are specific actions we plan for to help us live in line with our values. 

James Clear nails this when he suggests we ask ourselves, “am I climbing the right mountain?” This is how we check if our goals are in line with our purpose. 

“Values are how we want to behave, and goals are things we want to achieve.”

An example of how our goals are supported by our values 

Purpose: I want to lead a spiritual life. 

Value: Because I value a life that is in harmony with the universal. 

Goal: Start a daily meditation and a reflective journaling practice. 

As long as you’ve identified the mountain you want to climb, and it aligns with your values, it will have purposeful, intrinsic meaning to you. 

Where do I start working out my purpose?

Any way that serves you! Most experts and teachers suggest starting by reflecting on your values. 

A top tip to approaching values is to think about how you react and get upset over things. Say a friend cheats on their partner. You love them, you don’t want to judge them, but you really find it hard to go along with what they’ve done. 

It’s highly likely that cheating has threatened you somehow in the past. Your sense of loyalty was probably hit somewhere, in some way, by someone. It might have been you were around someone who lied, cheated, or didn’t act as the kind of trustworthy person you wanted them to be. 

As you grew up, it would be natural to have said to yourself: “I’ll never cheat on anyone.” 

On the other hand, someone close to you may have been a wonderful example of loyalty that you aspired to. This too creates the foundation for your value system. Let’s next jump in and work out what your values are. 

How to Work Out Your Core Values in 3 Steps

1. Reflect on your top three values: check out this list by Brené Brown to get started. 

2. Consider your values in three categories: work, relationships, and hobbies. 

3. Write down how your values manifest in your life on a scale of 1 to 10.

4. Reflect on easy to achieve ways that you can integrate these values into your life. Start with a month, and then work back to each week, and then each day. 

5. Share your values with a close friend before moving onto tying them to your purpose. 

How to bake purpose into your every day

Like any new habit, it takes consistent effort to focus on purpose. So easy with self-criticism if you feel you’re not “getting there” fast enough.

A vision board is a fantastic way to keep your purpose and values top of mind. Put it where you'll see it daily. You can add photos, notes, reminders, and inspiring quotes to your board. Make it scrappy at first but get it done. You can always add to it or swap out quotes when you need a reset. 

Regularly visualizing your purpose with a few mindful breaths is powerful. When you’re done, ask yourself what one thing you can do today to align with your values. Smile at yourself when you’ve done this - you’re on the path to purpose! 

A purposeful life is a happier life

Leaning into your sense of purpose will give you deeper resilience when life’s everyday setbacks give you a knock. This intentional focus on your life’s journey will deepen your connection to your values. Plus along the way, it can lower the intensity of stress and anxiety you experience, too. 

If you’re in a place where your most immediate needs are not met, then trying to leap up to the top might not be the kindest thing to do, despite your best intention. Feeling safe and supported is always your number one priority. So take care of those and yourself first.

Final Note

Life can throw us up and down, no matter how purposefully we are living. However, when the going gets tough, tapping into your sense of meaning will help you to process what's happening and when the dust settles, reflect on how those challenges have been part of your journey.

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